


Still Suspicion Holds You Tight

by Denkira



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, InoShika is minor here, M/M, POV First Person, POV Uzumaki Naruto, Some fluff too, kind of cheating mentioned, mentions of sexual situations, one-sidedKarinSasuke, some nice friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-03 17:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15823158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denkira/pseuds/Denkira
Summary: “Do you want me to embarrass you in front of all of them then, to make you understand?” he smiled and suddenly I was petrified, “Because I will.”What exactly are Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke - friends? Enemies? Or something else?





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! I posted this story a while ago on fanfiction.net, but since I have mostly been reading fics here recently, I decided to try and post it here as well. So, sorry if you have already seen this and it's nothing new. But while it's not the first story that I wrote, it's the first that I decided to publish, so I really hope you will like it! Please, please let me know what you think, it would mean so much to me!!  
> Since the story is already published in whole on fanfiction.net, I will just post all three chapters of it one after another here as well. I am also currently working on another longer story, which will have both SasuNaru and InoShika as main pairings.   
> So on to chapter one - please let me know your thoughts!

I hated him. I hated him for always having such perfect grades even when we had so many assignments from med school that we were about to drop dead. I hated him for being able to master every single concept so fast even when I needed hours to do so. I hated him for that calm and arrogant prodigy aura of his. I hated him for having so many people admire him without even making the effort. I hated him for acting so adult-like even though he was almost a year younger than me.

I hated him for what he did to me when we were still in high school. When we still didn’t know anything about the real world outside of our comfort zone. He was my best friend then. Even if he didn’t really care too much about anyone else, he was always there for me. The one I could always tell everything to, the one who helped me study when I decided I wanted to become a doctor and would need perfect grades in all of the subjects. The one who always stayed over at my home when he didn’t want to go back to his screwed up family and we were lying in bed until the early hours of the morning, talking about when lazy-ass Shikamaru would finally make a move on Ino and how scary Sakura could be when she wanted to.

And the one I had my first time with. That’s right, Uchiha Sasuke was my first sexual experience ever although definitely not the last one. And I was his first too, even though today he is known as one of the playboys in Konoha College, something that none of our friends from high school would have believed even five years ago. It was during our last year in high school, when they took us to a three days onsen trip at the beginning of the school year, to celebrate that it was going to be the last one. We were, as usual, in the same room and we were two horny teenagers who longed for affection and have been dancing around each other for way too long. It had been a bit awkward at first, but it was still one of the best experiences in my life. As I lay next to him afterwards with my head resting on his chest, I felt my stomach doing those strange things for the first time in my life and I found myself thinking that maybe, just maybe, it was not such a bad idea to have overstepped the boundaries of our friendship. But then he had gone and done the unthinkable, he had gone and hurt me in the worst way possible. And it was something I never wanted to think about again.

I hated Uchiha Sasuke for being so fucking perfect. And I hated myself for not really being able to hate him.

 

* * *

 

I walked into the common room of our dormitory floor today to make myself some very much needed coffee, already fully dressed and ready for an exciting day. All of the students in our year of med school were having lab together for the next eight weeks and were supposed to work on a group project together.

I saw Shika and Ino cuddled on the couch. All of our small group of friends from med school were living on this particular dormitory floor this year, meaning we were sharing the common room. And since today we had lab all day together because of said project, we decided to meet up here and head over there together. The moment they saw me enter the room, the two of them threw me their most amazed looks.

“Naruto, are you feeling okay?” Shikamaru asked.

“What the hell?” I retorted a little annoyed. “Why wouldn’t I feel okay?”

“Well, you’re early,” Ino pointed out helpfully.

“Shut up with the stupid questions, before I kick you off the couch,” I rolled my eyes at them.

“Well, I think it was a legitimate question. When was the last time you were early?” Shika said, not feeling particularly threatened by me.

Good point. I just shrugged for the lack of anything better to say. Before I could open my mouth the door of the common room opened once again and in came Neji and Sasuke, who were roommates, ever since we moved to college. My eyes narrowed at them.

“Why are you two coming together? Gross.”

“Well, some of us actually enjoy some intelligent company, Mr. I-only-let-people-with-less-than-average-IQ-in-my-room,” Sasuke smirked in my direction. Damn, this morning wasn’t shaping up to be a very good one.

“I’m sorry, Uchiha, for a moment there I forgot how you can’t spend one night without someone else’s company.”

“Shut the hell up, Uzumaki-“ Sasuke started angrily, but was interrupted by his roommate.

“Oh, please cut it off, the two of you, it’s still too early for this,” Neji said annoyed. “And why do you still call each other by your family names after ten years is beyond me.”

I snorted, “Well, what else am I supposed to call the guy I can’t even stand being in the same room with.”

Sasuke opened his mouth, but saw the warning look on Neji’s face and just shrugged, opting to get ready for lab instead.

Ino and Shikamaru looked at each other and rolled their eyes, deciding to keep silent this time. I sat on the other couch, frowning, and opened a magazine left on the coffee table to pass the time until Kiba, Sakura and Hinata show up. It was definitely going to be a long day.

 

* * *

 

 After the full day of experiments and boring paperwork in the lab, Kiba, Ino and Shikamaru had somehow managed to convince us all to go out together and have something to drink as a celebration for the start of our new project. I must point out that this didn’t happen very often. At least not all of us together – usually it was just me, Ino and Shika, often joined by Kiba and Hinata, sometimes I also went out with Sakura alone or Sasuke went out with Shikamaru and Neji and I know that the girls also went out together more often than not. But the reason all of us rarely went out was that I could not stand being together with Sasuke and he could not stand being together with me. And the others could not stand us bickering back-and-forth the whole time. As simple as that.

Tonight, however, it was different. We were actually enjoying ourselves, talking non-stop and discussing our new project and how exciting it would be if we actually manage to find out something new that could contribute to the overall research on this topic. Ino and Shikamaru were trying to steal kisses from each other without being too obvious, while Neji was looking at them with something between amusement and disgust. Meanwhile I was trying to listen to what Kiba was rambling about some new video game that he got addicted to recently. I have been his roommate ever since we graduated Konoha High and moved to college, so I was used to his addiction and even played with him sometimes, but I still couldn’t help but be a little distracted by the conversation Sakura was having with Sasuke asking him about his new love interest (or fuck-buddy, more likely).

More or less, it seemed like a nice peaceful evening for now. Until…

“Isn’t that like your fifth beer already? Frustrated much?” I looked at Sasuke who was smirking at me while I was ordering my beer (was it really the fifth?) to the waitress.

I raised my eyebrows at him, “And why, if I may ask, do you care how much I drink?” I ignored the groans from our friends who could easily sense that another argument was beginning.

“I just don’t want to have to carry your drunken ass back home, have done that too much already.”

“Yeah, when the two of you were still friends.”

There were five amazed gasps and Sasuke and I were just gaping at Sakura who had said the last words. She looked away embarrassed and suddenly the table fell silent, because no one knew how to react to that situation. After all, the eight of us were very good at pretending that we have forgotten how Sasuke and I used to be best friends when we were at high school.

I decided that the silence was becoming too awkward so I cleared my throat, “Yeah, before he showed how unworthy he is of being anyone’s friend.”

All of the others were staring at me with mixed expressions, but I only had eyes for him. The look on Sasuke’s face was something I hadn’t seen in a while. He was both confused, but at the same time understanding, as though he knew that he had deserved the harsh words. Didn’t mean they had hurt him any less, though.

“Uzumaki, I-“ he opened his mouth, but I wouldn’t let him finish. It was too much to deal with now.

“Don’t really wanna hear it, sorry.” I left some money on the table and I stood up, ready to leave. “Bye, guys, see you tomorrow.”

I thought that after I left they would drop the subject, probably Sasuke making some lame joke about how I was wasted already. Little did I know that Shikamaru asked right after I had left, “So will we one day get to finally hear the story about how the two of you suddenly turned from friends to enemies?”

Sasuke sighed and looked at the other direction, “I doubt it, Shika.”

 

* * *

 

 

I was positive that they wanted to kill us. Maybe one of us did something to upset Kakashi-sensei, who was in charge of our lab project or principal Tsunade just really liked making us miserable. Because no sane person would think that it would be alright to make us stay 12 hours in the lab with almost no breaks.

“I can’t even feel my brain anymore,” whined Ino from the other side of the room. “Are they planning on killing us?”

Good, so I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

“Well, that’s the life of the med student…at least we did a good job, right? I think we really set up a good foundation for the research,” said Hinata. Always trying to cheer everybody else up even if she herself was never confident about her own abilities.

As I was sitting on the couch, or more like lying on it, my eyes started to close on their own. Just as I was about to drift off to sleep though, the door burst open and there he came.

“What the hell, are they planning on killing us?” growled Sasuke angrily, too loud for my liking. “And I still have a training with the kendo club tomorrow, this is one insane life, I’m telling you.”

I don’t know if I was more annoyed that he was being unusually loud for himself or that despite his whining he seemed to be perfectly able to manage both med school and being the captain of the kendo club at Konoha College, just like he had been in high school. But after going through experiments for twelve hours straight, I certainly didn’t want to have to listen to Uchiha Sasuke.

“Well, then maybe you will do us all a favor and end this insane life of yours,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Shikamaru who was sitting the closest to me shot me a warning look. Usually he tried to stay out of our bickering, being good friends with both of us. But I guess sometimes it was too much for him too, always being the one in between.

Sasuke only snorted though, unbothered by my harsh words. “And why would I do something that will make _you_ happy?”

I only rolled my eyes and said nothing at first, pretending that his words didn’t get to me. But they did. I hated it that I couldn’t say anything to hurt him. He always dismissed even my harshest words, already being used to them. I wanted to have an effect on him. I wanted to be able to hurt him just the way he had hurt me all those years ago.

“I think you should care about my happiness, since I’m the one in charge of the practical experiment for our lab project,” I smirked at him. “You wouldn’t really be able to finish it and the get your perfect grade that you desire so much without me.”

He snorted, “I am pretty sure our project would go much better without some idiot who cannot even finish his experiment on time and is making us stay in the lab longer than necessary.”

This time he was on the receiving end of Shikamaru’s glare. And not only his to be honest. Kiba and Ino were also glaring at Sasuke, obviously thinking that he had taken it a little bit too far this time. After all, we used to insult each other on a personal level daily, but never on a professional one.

I stiffened and tried not to show the hurt on my face. Because those words of his had definitely hurt me more than any others.

“Who cares what you think, anyway,” I mumbled and closed my eyes again, unable to come up with a better retort. He shrugged and started some other conversation with Neji, while I was pretending to be asleep. I suddenly didn’t have the desire to sleep anymore, though. Instead I was filled by the desire to get back at him somehow.

I cracked one eye open and looked at Kiba, who was still sitting close to me, looking through a magazine.

“So, dog-breath, what are your parents going to make us for Christmas?” Those words of mine had the immediate effect of everyone in the room turning to look at us amazed.

“Er…” Kiba was looking at me confused, unsure what I was talking about. Of course he wasn’t, I wasn’t so sure what I was doing myself. But I threw him a look that said ‘play along’. “I…I think something traditional, I guess.”

Ino asked, “You are going to Kiba’s house for Christmas? How come?” she looked a bit hurt that the rest of them were left out.

I threw a pointed look at Kiba, pleading him to cooperate with my eyes.

“Er, well, I invited him…my-my mother suggested that I invite some friends and I thought that Naruto would like to come as well,” he stuttered a little while trying to come up with something plausible.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, “And you didn’t invite any of us, just him?”

“Oh, don’t be jealous now, _Sasuke_ ,” I smirked in his direction and he stiffened a bit at the use of his first name. 

“You shouldn’t have asked him, Kiba, he is sure to seduce one of your friends or something, being the man-whore he is,” Sasuke said a little bit annoyed.

I felt my blood boiling and my fists clenched. I couldn’t believe he dared to say that, to call me _that_. 

“You don’t get to say this, Uchiha!” I was now standing. “You don’t get to say anything like this after what you did to me three years ago!”

The others froze, sitting on edge, waiting to hear details about our mysterious problem from three years ago, the one that made us forget we were best friends.

Sasuke looked at me, realization dawning on his face and he suddenly looked so guilty.

“Uzumaki, wait,” he grabbed my arm when I was already on my way out, not wanting to be in the same room as him anymore. “No, please, let me explain this time!”

I turned around and looked at him coolly, “No, I really don’t want to talk about it.” I freed my arm from his grasp and made my way to the door. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

And without turning around to look at him or any of the others, I was out of the common room.

 

* * *

 

I was sitting on the roof looking down at the strangers who were walking through the busy streets of Tokyo, each and every one of them with their own concerns and thoughts. I was thinking about him, the man I had stupidly fallen for and the man that I made the mistake to have expectations of. I should have learned my lesson not to expect too much from people until now…but I still did. I still haven’t forgotten about him three years later and I still let myself be hurt by his words, by his attitude.

I was so deep in thought, that I didn’t notice someone joining me on the roof and coming slowly behind me to sit next to me.

“Naruto, what are you doing here alone?” I jumped a little at Shika’s voice and turned to look at him, immediately noticing the gentle concern on his face. He was a good boy and a good friend. Maybe even my best friend now that I have lost Sasuke as such.

“I’m just thinking,” I sighed.

Shika didn’t say anything for a few minutes, also looking down at the people on the street. I could tell that if I had managed to fool any of them that I wasn’t affected by Sasuke’s words, it certainly wasn’t Shikamaru, being the genius he was.

“I won’t make you tell me what happened all those years ago,” he said eventually. “But you should know that you can always tell me if you want and that I will listen.”

I looked at him again, not knowing how to express my gratitude. I wanted to tell someone, I desperately did. But that story showed a side of me that I didn’t want anyone else knowing, a side too vulnerable for my liking.

“Thank you, Shika,” I said after another few minutes. “I appreciate it, I really do. It’s just…I really don’t want to talk about it,” I finished lamely not being able to come up with a better answer.

“I consider you both very good friends, Naruto,” Shika said standing up, “but you should know that what Sasuke said isn’t true.”

I looked at him confused and he smiled, “We do need you in our group, Naruto, and not only for the lab project. We all need you to bind us together, more than you think.”

I took the hand he was offering to help me stand up and I smiled at him. My first genuine smile in a while.

 

* * *

 

I have always thought that I was the only one thinking about him all the time. That I was the only one thinking about what happened that winter all those years ago. So if someone had told me then what kind of conversation he was having with Neji the night after the third day of lab, I wouldn’t have believed them.                                                                                                                       

“Sasuke, are you even listening to me?” Neji asked. The two of them were sitting in their favorite bar near campus.

“No, I’m sorry, Neji,” Sasuke sighed. “I wasn’t listening.”

“Is something the matter?”

“No…not really,” Sasuke hesitated. “I’m just…thinking.”

“About Naruto?” Neji suggested knowingly.

Sasuke stiffened a bit and decided not to answer.

“Sasuke, what the hell is wrong with you two?” Neji didn’t want to let it go. “We all pretend that you two have always hated each other and there is just nothing to be done, but I know that’s not true. You used to be friends. Best friends.”

Sasuke contemplated Neji’s words a bit before answering, “Yeah…yeah we used to be. Maybe we have just grown up. It happens. People grow apart.”

Neji looked at him skeptically, “You and I both know this is not the case here. What happened three years ago?”

Sasuke jumped a little at the question and decided once again not to answer.

Neji sighed, “Look, I won’t force you to tell me, but you should know I am always here to listen if you decide to.”

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Sasuke suddenly spoke, “I was the biggest jerk on earth, that’s what happened.”

Neji looked at him surprised, having not really expected that Sasuke will talk about it. He waited for him to continue, afraid to say something that might interrupt the story.

“You remember the school onsen trip just before Christmas that year?” Neji just nodded, not daring to speak. “Well…Naruto and I were sharing a room…as usual. And well…we talked about stuff all night, you know. And then I guess our hormones took the best of us and…we had sex.”

Neji’s jaw dropped open. Whatever he had expected it certainly wasn’t this.

Sasuke looked a bit uncomfortable as he continued, “It was…I don’t know. I guess it was awkward at first, but…there was something special about it. I…I don’t think I have ever admitted this to anyone, not even to myself, but it wasn’t just two horny teenagers having random sex…”

Neji still couldn’t form any words. He was looking at Sasuke not believing what he was hearing. Maybe there was much more to this story than they all have ever thought.

“The next morning when we were leaving, I kissed him before going out of the room and he smiled. It was maybe his last smile directed towards me that I can remember. And then, I went to Kiba’s place for Christmas, because my parents were travelling abroad again and since they know his parents well, they had asked them if I could go.” Sasuke winced slightly.

Neji didn’t miss the look on Sasuke’s face at the mention of Kiba’s family and he remembered how Naruto had said earlier that he was going to Kiba’s place for Christmas.

“There was a Christmas party with all of Kiba’s childhood friends and his cousins and his sister. We drank a little too much, I guess,” Sasuke frowned at this. “No, maybe this is just my excuse. Truth is I got scared. I got so fucking scared that I had probably gotten myself in a relationship with my best friend, a relationship I absolutely didn’t know what to expect from, especially with both of us kind of really only having each other and all. So I screwed it up before it had even started,” he placed his head in his hands.

Neji waited patiently, already anticipating the outcome.

“There was this guy, he was Kiba’s childhood friend from his hometown, Deidara. He flirted with me the whole night. So when almost all of them were asleep and he dragged me to one of the empty rooms, I let him. And I had sex with him, barely a week after I had slept with Naruto.”

Neji’s heart ached for both of his friends.

“I decided to tell Kiba about it after we got back, because I didn’t want him to find out from his friend. Too bad, that we weren’t alone in the classroom when I was telling him. Turns out Naruto overheard it and…I tried to explain, I really did. But he just wouldn’t listen. I guess I don’t blame him for it, though.”

Sasuke glanced in Neji’s direction, “I didn’t think a time would come where you don’t know what to say,” he attempted a smile, but it came out too fake.

Neji opened his mouth and closed it again. After a few moments he finally managed to form his words, “I’m sorry, Sasuke. It must have been really painful for you to remember this, I shouldn’t have made you talk about it.”

“That’s it?” asked Sasuke surprised. “No ‘You’re the biggest jerk on earth’ or ‘How could you?’”

“Sasuke, Naruto is one of my best friends, but so are you. I know you, I’m sure this was just as hard for you as it was for him.”

“I doubt it,” Sasuke looked back at his drink guiltily, “he seems to really hate me now.”

“Do you love him?”

The question surprised Sasuke, but he thought about the answer “I…I honestly don’t know. But I know I could have…If things didn’t happen this way…but I guess there is no use thinking about it now.”

Neji just nodded, not knowing what else he could possibly say right now.

 

* * *

 

I was totally mad. My blood was boiling as I was going through the hallways of our dormitory, hurrying to the common room on our floor. Before my conversation with Kiba this morning, I was in a perfectly good mood. We had yesterday off and I could sleep the whole day and do nothing in particular, so when I woke up this morning I was feeling really refreshed and I went to the cafeteria on campus feeling very happy. Until, of course, Kiba told me how a certain lab partner of ours had approached him with his cold and scary attitude yesterday, claiming that he wasn’t allowed to invite me over for Christmas. Just you wait, Uchiha Sasuke. You better run for your life after I find you.

I finally reached the common room and I burst in. He was sitting on the couch, reading something on his cell-phone with an indifferent expression. I was ready to start shouting at him, but then I stopped to look around. Neji, Ino and Shikamaru were also in the common room, each of them doing their own thing, so I decided it would not be a good idea to start this argument in front of them.

“Uchiha,” I hissed angrily in his direction, “do you have a second?”

He looked up from his cell-phone to stare at me surprised. I guess it was not so common for me to approach him for a conversation like that.

“Er…sure, what is it?” he asked carefully.

I cleared my throat, “Alone.”

Now all of them were looking at us confused. Great, just what I wanted. They were afraid that I had finally gone crazy and decided to kill him off somewhere.

He also looked confused, but stood up to leave the room after me, not questioning my strange behavior further. We walked outside in silence as I was checking for an empty classroom. Finally, I found one at the end of the hallway and I rushed him inside.

“So,” Sasuke raised an eyebrow and said nothing more, obviously waiting for me to tell him what’s wrong.

I narrowed my eyes at him and crossed my arms in front of myself.

“How dare you tell Kiba that he is not allowed to take me to his place for Christmas? Who exactly do you think you are?”

Sasuke frowned a little and turned around so that he wasn’t facing me, “I have told him no such thing.”

I snorted, “As if. He told me that you have been constantly bothering him about how he shouldn’t invite me.”

Sasuke just continued to be silent and showed no sign that he was going to face me or say something. I got even angrier at his attitude and I slammed my fist on the wall. He jumped a little at that and turned to face me surprised. I guess this also wasn’t typical of me.

“Naruto…” he stared at me, probably a little bit scared that I was finally losing it. Maybe I was.

“Look, Uchiha, whatever you are trying to play at, I don’t know, but I don’t belong to you or anything. You’re not my family, you’re not my boyfriend and you’re actually not even my friend at all. So, please, explain to me, what exactly gives you the right to tell other people off for inviting me to their houses?”

Maybe my words were a little bit harsh, but they were still true. Sasuke didn’t have any part in my life, except for being my lab partner. As much as I wanted him to be something more.

He furrowed his brows as if he himself was not so sure of the answer. “I…I am sorry, okay? I know you’re right, but I guess…” he took a deep breath as if it was really hard for him to say that. “I guess I’m just jealous.”

I froze. Jealous?! What the hell does that mean? I walked up to him, closing the distance between us. I stared hard at him, leaning closer until I could feel the quickening of his breath on my face. He was staring at me wide-eyed. I leaned a bit closer and my lips were now barely brushing against his. He was holding his breath, eyes still wide open and I could tell that he didn’t dare move an inch. And then suddenly, without fully realizing what I was doing or what had possessed me, I closed my eyes and kissed him.

Was it because of that word? The word jealous, the one that sparked the feeling in me that I had tried so hard to bury deep deep down. I really didn’t know what I was doing at the moment.

Sasuke had also closed his eyes and his hand went slowly to my neck and held my head in place as if he was scared I was going to push him away any moment. I placed my hands on either side of his hips and pulled him a little bit closer, deepening our kiss. That seemed to give Sasuke more certainty and he started moving his lips against mine faster until he bit lightly on my lip. I took the hint and opened my mouth, letting our tongues brush against each other. I smirked with satisfaction against his lips as I heard him moaning slightly at the contact. And then, suddenly as if he realized the situation we were in he used his hand on the back of my neck to pull my head away from his.

My eyes opened slowly and I found him staring at me. He was without a doubt wondering what had possessed me to do something like this. Uh-oh, he was going to ask any moment now. And I had no answer.

“Naruto…” he said a little breathless and my heart jumped a little at the use of my first name. “What the heck was that?”

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I’m sorry, okay, just forget it.” And with that I turned my back on him and started walking away, the reason I was yelling at him earlier completely forgotten.

But of course, Uchiha Sasuke was never one to do exactly what I say. He grabbed my wrist and forced me to turn around again and look at him.

“No, I won’t forget it.” He was watching me so intently that I suddenly had the feeling that my arm was burning where he was still holding it. “Look, Naruto, I think it’s time we talked about this.”

I yanked my arm free from his grasp and averted my eyes, but I stayed in place. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about it, but maybe he was right, maybe it was time.

“I…” Sasuke began as soon as he realized that I was not going anywhere. “I know that probably it means nothing to you after all those years and I know that what I did can never be excused…but I truly am sorry.” I snorted at this and Sasuke sighed.

“Naruto, you may never believe this, but the reason I did it was because I was scared…I was so fucking scared of the commitment…because you weren’t someone random, you were my best friend.”

I finally turned to look at him and my eyes softened a little bit. I was surprised to see the emotion in his eyes. It was something so strong that I couldn’t quite place…but for the first time in three years, I had the feeling that I could trust him again.

“I did the most horrible thing to you, Naruto, and I will never be able to forgive myself…but I did it because I liked you…as more than a friend. That night meant so much to me that it was scary and I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I guess being the coward I am, I just had to run away from it.”

I was staring at him with wide eyes, not sure if I was hearing him correctly. I felt my body begin to tremble a little, but I still couldn’t form any words. Sasuke continued anyway.

“I know I was acting like I hated you, but it was all just that – an act. I still care about you so much, Naruto. I still like you the way I always have…what I felt right now kissing you proved that…and I know you felt it too, so don’t try to tell me you didn’t.”

I felt Sasuke coming closer but my mouth was still hanging open with surprise at his sudden confession. I never thought that this could be the reason behind what happened three years ago and I most certainly didn’t think that he could still have feelings for me…the way I did for him.

“You would hurt me again,” I whispered and Sasuke frowned. “I can’t trust you again, because you would hurt me.”

He reached out to grab my hands and looked me in the eye as if trying to convey all of his feelings with that look. “I promise you, Naruto. If you give me just one more chance, I will never ever hurt you again.”

I looked him in the eye and suddenly thousands of thoughts were running through my mind. How the hell did our argument about going to Kiba’s for Christmas turn to that? What did I feel when I kissed him? It certainly felt different than kissing anyone else I ever have in my life…Should I give him another chance? Have I actually forgiven him?

“I’m sorry…” I whispered still looking him straight in the eye. “That promise just isn’t enough anymore.”

A look of deep hurt crossed his face for a second, but then he let go of my hands and smiled wryly. “Don’t worry. I get it.” And with that he left and went back to our common room.

When I finally returned to the common room a few minutes later, I heard Neji asking Sasuke through the slightly open door:

“Sasuke, what’s going on with you and Naruto?”

Sasuke paused a little, before he answered, “Nothing. Why should something be up?”

“Well, we certainly didn’t expect you to come back alive,” came Ino’s voice. “He came here ready to kill you with a look.”

Sasuke just shrugged at that.

“So…are you fighting again?” Neji pressed the issue.

“No, we’re not fighting,” Sasuke answered and then paused for a second. “I guess we will argue less than before now.”

I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and walked in the common room. I felt all eyes on me, but I didn’t pay them any attention looking only at Sasuke. He also lifted his head to look at me.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice not betraying any emotion.

“Maybe it is enough,” I said and I could see out of the corner of my eyes Neji, Ino and Shikamaru share a questioning look. “Maybe it is enough after all.”

Sasuke’s face suddenly turned into a bright, genuine smile, the one I haven’t seen for so long and the one I’ve missed so much. He stood up, took my hand gently and led me out of the common room, closing the door behind him and ignoring the collective gasps from inside.

As we were standing in the hallway, he looked at me searchingly and asked, “Are you sure?”

I couldn’t form any words with him looking at me like that, so I decided to show him just how sure I was. I placed both of my hands around his neck and kissed him for the second time today, trying to put all my built up emotion in the kiss.

After we finally parted he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly to him as if he never wanted to let me go again. I’m not sure how long we stayed like that before he whispered in my hair, “Don’t go to Kiba’s for Christmas.”

I laughed softly in his chest and felt him shiver a little at the contact. “I won’t. I have someone else I’d rather spend it with now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter number two! I'll be posting the last chapter later today or tomorrow at the latest!
> 
> Please let me know what you think, it will be much appreciated!

“Hey! Sasuke! I was using this paper!”

“Oh, come on, Ino, how old are you? Learn to share.”

“Oh, yeah, you wanna share? Hmm, how about we share that pretty boyfriend of yours over there?”

I chuckled from my position on the couch, without even bothering to open my eyes. I was sure that Sasuke could handle himself pretty well in the situation. After all, I could feel his glare on the pretty blond girl without even looking.

“Keep your hands to Shikamaru and don’t even think about going anywhere near my boyfriend,” said Sasuke in a dangerously low voice.

“Okay, okay, I was joking, sheesh…” And I heard Ino going away to join Shika on the second couch at the other side of our common room, muttering something about possessive boyfriends.

As I was lying contently with a small smile on my face thinking how cute my boyfriend was when he was jealous, he came to join me and soon I felt his hand gently stroking my hair. I cracked one eye open.

“Hey.”

The corners of his mouth moved up a little and his hand moved away from my hair so that he could interlace our fingers together on top of my stomach.

“What plans do you have for tonight?” He whispered into my ear leaning down.

I grinned and felt the excitement already building in my stomach. I couldn’t help, but feel all those funny things there each time he used that deep sexy voice on me. It was already mid-January, meaning almost a month since we started dating, but we still hadn’t slept together. Well, technically we had, but that was that one time three years ago.

He placed a kiss on my ear and bit me a little, probably reminding me that he was waiting for an answer. I had to gather all my self-control not to moan, as there were still other people in the room with us.

“I don’t know, I guess it depends on what your plans are…” I said smirking a little at him.

I sat up and turned around on the couch facing him. He was watching me with those eyes that I felt I could lose myself into if I kept staring for too long. Luckily, he didn’t leave me the time for that as he leaned close to me and lightly brushed his lips against mine. I casually placed my arms around his waist and shifted a little closer to him. If time could only stop…

“Oi! Why don’t you two get a room or something!” We parted at Neji’s words, Sasuke shooting him an annoyed glare.

“I still can’t believe it…yesterday they hate each other, today they are all over each other…how crazy is that, really?” I heard Ino muttering to Shikamaru, who just nodded.

I placed my forehead against Sasuke’s and grinned widely at him. He returned my smile and whispered again so that only I could hear him, “My room, then. Neji is going home for the weekend later. Now you have plans for tonight.”

 

* * *

 

After having a casual dinner at Sasuke’s room that night, both of us were lying on the small bed snuggled close to each other with a warm blanket over us. I had my eyes closed and my head on his chest, my arms around his waist. But I wasn’t sleeping. I couldn’t really sleep, because even though I was really relaxed and I felt really content in his arms, my heart was racing rapidly. As my mind drifted, I started even wondering if he could actually hear it.

We laid in silence for a few more minutes, in which his hand began stroking through my hair absentmindedly.

“Sasuke…” I spoke, my voice a little bit unsure.

I felt his body jerk in surprise a little under me, obviously thinking that I had already been asleep. I guess he couldn’t hear my heartbeat after all.

“What is it?”

I frowned a little unsure how to ask my question…and if I should ask it at all. I was sure it would somehow ruin the moment.

“Do you…you know, still like me?”

I felt Sasuke shift a bit so that he was sitting on the bed, which made me having to sit up as well. He looked at me as if he couldn’t decide if I was really dumb enough to ask that.

“What are you talking about? I thought we were over this, we have been dating for almost a month already, right?”

I shook my head and looked into his eyes.

“No, I know…that’s not what I meant.” I paused a little and looked down as I suddenly felt embarrassed. “What I meant is do you…want me?”

I took a chance to look up at his face once more and I saw his eyes widening a bit when he finally realized what I was asking.

“I…” He looked like he wasn’t really sure how to voice his thoughts, which made my heart clench a little. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t.”

I sighed and turned to look away from him. “You didn’t really answer the question.” _Or even worse, maybe you did._ I left that part unsaid.

Then I felt his lips moving down my neck and suddenly my skin was on fire. Was it really so hot in his room or was it just me?

“Of course I want you, Naruto,” he whispered in my ear with a husky voice and my eyes fluttered close. “I want you so _fucking_ much, I’ve wanted you like crazy all those years.” He said that while sneaking his arms around my waist to hug me from behind and slowly trailing them down my stomach and then to the waistband of my jeans. I was amazed how he could turn me on so much by doing only that. I must be really desperate.

“Then why haven’t we had sex yet?” I finally asked the real question that was bothering me, suddenly feeling bold enough.

I turned around to look at him once again as I felt him sigh and I was surprised at the unusual emotion in his black eyes. It was almost like...something was holding him back, but I wasn’t sure what exactly.

“I just…you know how things went to hell after we slept together last time and I just…” he said with furrowed brows and I suddenly realized what the problem is.

“You’re afraid something will go wrong again if we have sex?” I asked gently cupping his face and decided against reminding him that it wasn’t the fact that we had sex that screwed things up the last time, but what he did after that.

He nodded looking somewhat embarrassed. I leaned towards him but instead of going for his mouth I kissed his ear and bit lightly on his earlobe.

“I promise you,” I whispered in his ear and I felt him shiver, “It won’t be like that this time. I will make sure you never even remember that anyone else but me exists after I’m done with you.”

Then without any warning he pushed me on the bed hovering on top of me and looked down at me with dark eyes full of lust.

I just grinned up at him.

 

* * *

 

When I woke up the next morning, my back was so sore from sleeping on the small bed (and from other things, if I have to be honest), but immediately a content smile found its way on my face. For the first time in a long time, I was completely, truly and utterly happy. I had everything I’ve ever wanted. And that was only one thing actually, or rather one person. Uchiha Sasuke.

I felt a strong hand stroking through my hair and I sighed contently again, “That’s not such a bad way to wake up.”

He laughed, “Indeed.”

I smiled and he leaned in to kiss me and it was soft and tender, nothing like the kisses we shared last night, but perfect nonetheless.

I moaned in protest as he broke up the kiss and stood up, “I’m going to make breakfast, you rest a little bit more, I know what a lazy ass you are after all.”

“I resent that. You’re confusing me with Shikamaru.”

He laughed and strolled to the small kitchen, which was attached to their room, and I sunk back to the pillows without being able to wipe that silly grin off my face.

Just when I was closing my eyes again, I heard Sasuke’s phone vibrating on the table next to me. I popped an eye open to see if it was someone important enough for me to stand up and bring him his phone in the kitchen, but it turned out to be a text from Sasuke’s kendo club manager, Karin. That got me curious and thinking that it could be about some change in the schedule, I reached for the phone and opened it to read the text. I was sure Sasuke wouldn’t mind, it was from the kendo club after all.

_“Sasuke-kun, thank you so much for the other night. I really enjoyed spending it with you, just the two of us. I hope you wouldn’t mind doing that more often from now on.”_

My heart stopped for a second at reading the words and suddenly I felt cold. I stared at the screen for about five minutes, before deciding to go and ask him about it. The straightforward way was the best way, right? I mean, I was probably overreacting anyway and it was probably just a regular friendly meeting between a captain and his manager. But I couldn’t shake the doubt creeping in my mind. Because if it was only that, why didn’t he tell me about it?

A loud sound from the kitchen snapped me from my thoughts and back to reality. I looked up to see Sasuke coming out of the kitchen with a small guilty grin on his face.

“Sorry, I guess I’m not used to the whole cooking thing.”

I saw the look in his eyes changing as his gaze fixed on me. I realized that it must have not looked very good – me sitting on the bed with a slightly shocked expression and my knuckles white from gripping his phone.

“What happened?” he asked carefully and I could not really tell if his voice was angry or concerned. For some reason that made my heart sink a little bit more. I could always tell before.

I tried getting a grip and cleared my throat before speaking, “I...you have a text. From Karin.”

Sasuke’s dark eyes narrowed a bit, “You looked through my phone?”

I could feel my insecurities starting to creep up on me and the little flare of anger burning in my stomach at his words, “I didn’t look at it on purpose. I heard it vibrating and I just wanted to see if it was anything urgent.”

Sasuke stayed still for a few seconds before asking in the same neutral voice, “And was it?”

I couldn’t help but snort a bit, “Well that depends. I would consider a thank you for your last date and an invitation to a new one kind of urgent, what do you think?”

How did it turn out like that? It’s not how I had planned to confront him. I didn’t want to blame him out of nowhere, before hearing his side of the story. But I guess my mouth was working faster than my brain as usual. All of the doubts deep in my mind that had stayed well hidden during the last month were surfacing now because of this single text. I guess that all of the things that happened three years ago with Sasuke could not be buried that easily.

“What the hell are you even talking about, Naruto?” he frowned.

I just passed him the phone without saying anything and watched his reaction as he read the text. To my surprise, his tense posture relaxed a bit and something like relief flooded in his dark eyes.

He came and sat on the bed next to me. I turned a little to face him, our bodies very close to each other, but still not touching in any way.

“I know it may not seem very good, but it isn’t like that at all, Naruto,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair in slight frustration. He was not very good at explaining anything that had to do with emotions.

I waited for him to continue, but when he didn’t, I asked quietly, forcing the bitter note out of my voice as much as possible, “Then how is it, Sasuke? It definitely doesn’t sound like it was just a meeting to discuss the kendo club.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he paused for a moment and looked at me with a considering gaze. I didn’t say anything and kept my eyes on him. I wasn’t going to let this one go. “Look, I don’t know if it’s okay for me to talk about that, which is why I haven’t told you anything. But...Karin’s mom is in the hospital. They still don’t know exactly what it is, but it’s suspected to be some serious illness and she has been there for two weeks now. Karin hasn’t been herself lately and she just needs someone to help her get through it, since her father doesn’t want to talk about it and she doesn’t really have many other friends. I’m just trying to be there for her. That’s all, Naruto, I swear.”

He continued to look at me with a plea to understand in his eyes and I felt my gaze softening a bit. There were different emotions in his eyes, but guilt was not one of them. I felt pity for Karin for having her mom in the hospital without knowing what will happen and I might have even felt slightly guilty for doubting Sasuke. But it still didn’t mean I had to like it.

I leaned closer to him so that our bodies were touching now, knees brushing against each other. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to read your text, I know you value your privacy.”

I could tell from his expression that he didn’t miss the fact that I hadn’t said I was sorry for accusing him of cheating, but he let it slide for now.

“I don’t mind if it’s you,” Sasuke shook his head “But I want you to trust me, Naruto. I only want to be with you and no one else.”

I felt my cheeks warming up a bit at his unusual straightforward confession and I leaned closer to kiss him. Sasuke was ready and he buried his hands in my hair as he pulled me closer to him.

As I lost myself in him I tried to ignore the nudging feeling in my stomach that somehow not everything was okay.

 

* * *

 

I hurried down the corridor of the university already late for my meeting with Shikamaru, Ino and Sakura. Since Sasuke and the others had some extra classes today, we decided that the four of us should eat lunch together at the cafeteria. I had to stay a bit after class to talk to one of my supervising professors, Jiraya, which made me almost ten minutes late to the time I promised that I would meet them.

As I neared the entrance of the cafeteria I saw that the three of them were already there waiting for me among the crowd of students. Sakura turned around as I made my way to them and I cringed a bit at the annoyance that could be clearly seen on her face. It was never good to have Sakura annoyed at you, as I unfortunately knew pretty well from experience.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” I started without waiting for them to unleash their anger on me first. “I had to stay behind for Jiraya, you know how he is.”

“Naruto, we just wasted ten minutes of our lunch break and it’s not like it’s a very long one anyway! There won’t be any seats left now!” Sakura wasn’t shouting yet, but she was close enough.

“Seriously, Blondie, you know how they don’t make enough of our favorite set, by now it will be all sold out! Next time that pervert wants to talk to you privately after class, tell him you already have a boyfriend!” The mental image of what Ino said made it impossible for me to answer as I was busy throwing up internally.

Shikamaru sighed, “Okay, okay, let the guy breathe. The longer we stay here arguing the lower the chance we can actually get seats. Let’s go.” He grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and the two of them went ahead, leaving me and Sakura to walk in behind.

We were all so hungry by the time we actually got seats and had our trays full of food in front of us that the first fifteen minutes were spent in complete silence while everyone was devouring their lunch. Of course the silence couldn’t last long, especially not with me and Ino at the same table.

“So, hot stuff, how is the married life going?” Ino asked me smirking and I just rolled my eyes at her.

“Could ask you the same, Blondie, is this lazy ass treating you well enough?” I replied in the same fashion while trying to ignore that nagging feeling in my stomach that hadn’t really gone away completely since that first night at Sasuke’s room. Or more like since the morning after when I read his text.

Shikamaru, being the observing genius he was, immediately noticed that there was something off with my reaction and frowned a little.

“Well, you know, he has his moments, but most of the time I have to be the one taking the initiative just like when I was trying to get him to–“

“Naruto, is everything okay?” Shikamaru cut through her teasing, looking at me with a slight concern in his eyes.

“Yeah...I mean, sure, why not?” As my eyes went through all of their faces I realized I’m probably not sounding very convincing, considering that even Ino had her serious face back on and Sakura was also frowning a little.

“Did...something happen with Sasuke?” Ino asked very carefully. I think even though we have been dating for more than a month now and we were all over each other, our friends have most certainly still not forgotten the three years we spent kind of hating the other.

I sighed, “No, not really, but...” I hesitated, not being sure if it was my place to tell them about Karin. “It’s just that I’m a little frustrated about something, but at the same time I know that I don’t really have the right to be...”

“Oh no, don’t tell me, he isn’t very good in bed, is he?” Ino exclaimed and I threw her a glare even though my cheeks reddened at the thought of how untrue that statement was.

“Ino...” Shikamaru sighed and shook his head a bit at his girlfriend even though there was a sparkle of amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Naruto, what is it exactly that you’re frustrated about, but you can’t talk to Sasuke?” Sakura asked straight to the point ignoring her best friend’s antics.

I rubbed the back of my head and hesitated a little before answering, “Well, the thing is, you know Karin, right? Sasuke’s manager in the kendo club?”

“Yeah, sure, my dad actually works with her mom at the law firm. He was just telling me yesterday how they all got really drunk at a company’s party this weekend and Karin’s mom totally kicked his ass in bowling,” Shikamaru snorted a little at the silliness of the adults.

“Yeah, exactly, well the thing is her mom–” I froze when my mind finally processed what Shikamaru had just said. “Wait, Shika, did you say this weekend? Are you sure Karin’s mom was there?”

“Um, yeah,” Shikamaru answered hesitantly looking at me a little bit confused. “Obviously I wasn’t there to see her, but I’m pretty sure my dad didn’t confuse her with someone else, they’ve been working together for seven years now.”

I had the feeling my brain had stopped and my lungs were out of air while the nagging feeling that something was wrong, the one that I had almost pushed away during the last week, came back with full force. I grabbed my bag and stood up abruptly.

“Sorry, guys, I ah...I need to go now,” and with that I left the table and hurried back to my room without even bothering to put away my food tray.

“Naruto! Hey, wait!” I heard Ino and Sakura shouting at me, but I didn’t turn back to look at them, while almost running down the corridor. I needed to be alone for a second so that I could clear my head because at the moment I had the feeling I was panicking.

I closed and locked the door to mine and Kiba’s room and leaned my back on it, slumping to the floor while taking deep breaths. I needed to calm down and think about what Shikamaru said and figure out what it meant for this situation. However, I was never very good at analyzing the situation, I usually let my emotions run my actions and my emotions were currently all over the place.

Okay, so Karin’s mom was obviously not in the hospital anymore, unless the doctors let her go just for one night in order to attend the office party, get drunk and play bowling. Doubtful.

The first thought that crept to my mind was that maybe she got better after all. Sasuke had said that the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, so maybe it turned out that there was nothing serious to worry about and she was healthy. I sighed knowing that as much as I wished it was true, it was very unlikely.

Another doubt started haunting me – maybe Shikamaru had misunderstood after all? It’s possible that his dad wasn’t talking about Karin’s mom or even if he had been that maybe he wasn’t talking about last week at all, but about some party long time ago. However, the more I was thinking about it, the more unlikely it seemed that someone like Shikamaru would misunderstand that.

No, as I was calming down from my first round of panic, I realized that this was not some misunderstanding or mistake. It was very deliberate manipulation. Karin’s mom was in perfect health, working together with Shikamaru’s dad and her other colleagues and has never been to the hospital at all. I narrowed my eyes as I remembered that Karin had always liked Sasuke ever since he joined the kendo club and especially after he became captain. She was lying to him and manipulating him into spending more time with her so that she could make her move on him. My blood boiled at the realization and slowly the anxiety inside me was substituted by anger.

Just as I was standing up and walking to my bed, contemplating what to do next, the handle was pushed in an effort to open the door to our room. It was followed by a loud ponding and Kiba’s voice shouting.

“Naruto? Why the hell did you lock the door?! Open up, I know you’re not with Sasuke!”

I rolled my eyes at my loud roommate even though he could not see me and walked to the door again to unlock it.

“How did you know for sure that I was not with Sasuke?” I asked Kiba as soon as he entered and dropped his bag on the floor.

“Well, dumbass, we just walked out of class together and unless our dear Uchiha has some superpowers it would have been physically impossible that he first went to his room to drop off his stuff and then came back here to have a quickie with you all before I came.”

I punched him lightly on the shoulder. “We don’t have quickies during lunch break, dog-breath.”

“As fascinating as discussing your sex life is, we have class again in twenty minutes. Your lover boy said he’ll wait for us in the common room along with the others so that we can all go together,” Kiba answered and went to his desk to collect the books he would need for the afternoon classes.

“Kiba, I’m sorry, I need to discuss something with Sasuke, I’ll meet you straight in the common room, yeah?” I made the quick decision and grabbed my bag running out of the room, before even hearing my roommate’s response.

 

* * *

 

I took a relieved breath as I saw that there was no one else in the common room besides Sasuke. He was sitting on the couch leaning into one of the cushions and reading something on his phone with a concentrated expression on his face. My heart clenched a bit at the sight of him. He looked so perfect and I wished for nothing more than to sit next to him, bury my face in the crook of his neck and inhale his addictive scent that was just so Sasuke and could always calm me down and make everything seem better. I wished we could spend the twenty minutes before the next lesson being lazy together, but unfortunately we could not afford it.

Just as I was wondering how to approach him, he lifted his gaze from the phone already having sensed my presence in the room.

“Hey,” he said simply without smiling. I wondered if he could still tell, like he always could before, that there was something bothering me. “I thought you would come together with Kiba.”

“Sasuke, I need to talk to you about something,” I said without moving to sit down on the couch next to him. “It’s about Karin.”

Sasuke frowned, “Naruto, we already–“

“No, listen to me!” I felt my temper rising, although I was not so sure myself if I was angry at him or at her. “She is lying to you, Sasuke! Everything she is saying to you is just to manipulate you!”

He sighed angrily, “Naruto, how can you even say that? I explained already the situation to you. I thought that you will understand and not be irrationally jealous about it! It isn’t like you.”

I fought my urge to punch him, knowing that it would not help the situation. “I am not being jealous, you bastard. I found out the truth from Shikamaru today. Karin’s mom has never even been to the hospital.”

“What?” Sasuke raised from his seat on the couch and took a step towards me, narrowing his eyes. “You told Shikamaru about that?”

“I didn’t tell him anything,” I said through gritted teeth. He was totally ignoring my point here.

“So what, he just read your mind?!” Sasuke’s deep voice was now matching the volume of my own. “I told you about it, because I thought you deserve to know and because I thought you could keep a secret! But apparently neither was correct.”

I also took a step towards him, fighting the disappointment in my stomach. I tried to tell myself that the feeling that my boyfriend seemed to care more about Karin’s secret than our relationship was just irrational fear in my head and was not based on the reality of the situation. No matter how much I tried to repress it I still couldn’t help but feel it, though.

“You’re seriously the biggest jerk on Earth, Sasuke. You didn’t even hear my side of the story or consider my feelings, did you? You went straight to defending Karin.” I took a deep breath and decided it was better to let it all out and let him decide what to do about it. “I didn’t tell Shikamaru anything. I just mentioned Karin’s name in the conversation and he said that he knew who she was, because his dad worked with her mom and they were happily drinking and playing bowling at the office party. This weekend. When she was supposed to be in the hospital with a mysterious illness.”

He was just standing there looking at me for a few moments with the slightest trace of shock and doubt in his eyes and I took a second to enjoy the evil satisfaction of having left him speechless.

“I...are you sure it isn’t some misunderstanding?” he asked me carefully, his voice back to quiet again.

I took a calming breath and also replied in a normal tone, “Yeah, I’m sure. You can check with Shikamaru, if you don’t trust me,” I couldn’t help but add bitterly.

Sasuke shook his head slowly and sat again on the couch. This time I joined him.

He took another few silent minutes to process the information and then turned his gaze to me again, this time the guilt etched in his expression.

“I’m sorry,” he carefully reached for my hand as if not sure I won’t pull away. “It’s not like I don’t trust you, I just can’t believe that she would lie about something like this.”

I didn’t pull away, but I didn’t say anything either as I watched the guilt in his eyes shifting to anger and this time I knew it wasn’t directed to me.

“Karin will have a lot of explaining to do after our next kendo training, I promise you that. I won’t just let it slide,” he said with that dangerous tone to his voice that would normally turn me on, if not in this situation.

I felt the relief washing through me and squeezed his hand as an answer. I knew that the issue was not completely resolved. I also realized that I still had my insecurities and doubts in regards to Sasuke buried deep down and waiting for an opportunity such as this one to rise to the surface. But he did believe me and he took my side, so that should have been enough for now.

His timing as convenient as always, Kiba burst through the common room door and said, “Come on, lovebirds, time to get to class. Everyone else is already waiting for us downstairs.”

Sasuke stood up but didn’t let go, giving my hand a small squeeze in return.

 

* * *

 

Two days later I was lying on my bed after dinner staring at the ceiling and feeling a little nervous again. I knew that Sasuke hadn’t spoken to Karin yet since our talk in the common room. Today he had a kendo training though, so she was bound to be there as the team’s manager and knowing him he would confront her for sure after the training ended. I knew I shouldn’t be nervous about it, more like relived that this saga was finally going to end, but I still couldn’t help the strange feeling rising in me.

This was the reason why I decided to just stay in my room tonight and didn’t join the other guys who said that they’re going to the common room to play some games. Kiba told me that I was getting boring, but I didn’t pay him any attention. I didn’t really feel up to it and I wanted to wait for Sasuke to get out of training and talk to him.

Just when I thought that I heard my phone vibrating with a new message and picked it up. It was from Sasuke.

_Hey, dumbass, wanna come by the club around 21:30? I should be finished by then and we can go eat something?_

My heart sped up a bit at reading this and I smiled a little knowing that he could provoke this reaction in me even after all those years just with a simple invitation to eat together. I typed my reply.

_Sure, bastard, but you better be buying._

I spent the next two hours in the same position lying in my bed and staring at the ceiling and when I saw that it was 21:15 already, I got up, washed my face quickly and headed to the other side of campus where Sasuke’s kendo club was.

I was so lost in thought about all the things that had happened recently that I didn’t notice when I reached the big doors to the hall where they usually had the training. I looked around, but didn’t see my boyfriend waiting anywhere in front of it. It was quiet, though, which meant the training must be over so I decided to push the doors open and take a look inside.

As I walked in the big hall, immediately I wished that I had waited outside.

I took in the scene before me and all of my insides froze, all my other surroundings disappearing, except for the two people in the middle of the room.

Sasuke stood there, his lips glued to a red haired woman, who had one hand in his hair. Karin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter of the story!  
> I hope you guys like it, but in any case, please leave a comment to let me know what you thought and if you would like to see more! As I said at the beginning, I am currently working on another longer story, where both SasuNaru and InoShika are main pairings. I would love to know if you would be interested in it :)  
> Thanks for reading!

I was frozen in one place, my eyes wide open as I was taking in the scene before me. I wanted to move, I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t. My heart was beating fast and my hands started to sweat as my fists slowly clenched and unclenched. My breathing started to quicken and a million thoughts were suddenly running through my mind. I couldn’t help, but think back to a very similar feeling from three years ago, the only other time that I have ever felt like that, as if it was the beginning of a panic attack. Although if I ever thought that _hearing_ about Sasuke kissing someone else was bad, it was nothing compared to actually _seeing_ it with my very own eyes.

As the feeling of betrayal and hurt started sinking in, I could feel the tears beginning to form and I finally snapped out of it. I turned around and ran down the hallway as fast as I could. I ran and ran until I reached the small park that we had on campus. I stopped by one of the trees and sunk of my knees, out of breath from all the running. I turned around to sit on the ground leaning my back against the tree while still continuing to breathe heavily.

I couldn’t believe it. I just wanted to close my eyes and then when I open them again to find out that it was some kind of nightmare that I was just waking up from. The deja-vu sense that I had was making me sick to my stomach and I couldn’t believe that I had to relieve that feeling of betrayal again, even when I had been sure that I would never have to.

Just then, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was vibrating constantly without stopping and I had a feeling about who was calling me. The last person that I wanted to talk to right now. I picked up anyway.

 _“Naruto, where are you? Are you coming?”_ Just hearing his voice made the image of him and Karin kissing come back to my mind and my hand clenched around the phone.

“No,” I said in a hoarse voice.

 _“What, are you okay? We need to talk about something.”_ His voice sounded so normal, as if he hadn’t been betraying my trust just now. Again.

“I have nothing to say to you.” I felt the tears finally falling from my eyes and spilling down my cheeks. I didn’t even wait for his answer, I threw the phone on the ground next to me and buried my head between my knees.

I don’t even know how long I had been sitting like that. The air around me had become cold, since it was only February and I could tell that it was fully dark already. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to move. My mind was swimming from one thought to another, as if it would finally break if it stopped on one for too long.

After what felt like an eternity I heard footsteps approaching and stopping right in front of me. I didn’t lift my head, but I heard again that voice that I was dreading so much.

“You saw, didn’t you.” As expected of the prodigy, he had already figured it out.

I remained in the exact same position, without acknowledging him at all. I felt that if I do it, everything would become real.

“It was nothing, Naruto,” he said again in that calm voice that was making my blood boil. This was my breaking point and I finally lifted my head to meet his eyes with anger.

“Nothing is ever something to you, is it, Sasuke?” I stood up, unable to be close to him anymore and took off in the direction of the dorms.

I had only taken a few steps when I felt Sasuke grabbing my arm forcefully and I couldn’t help, but turn around to look at him again.

“Naruto, please, let me explain, it’s not what you think it is,” he said with a voice filled with emotion this time and I was at least satisfied to finally get some reaction from him that had nothing to do with his usual calmness.

“She was the one who kissed me out of the blue, I was just too shocked to pull away immediately, but I did as soon as I came to my senses and I never kissed her back,” he continued as if afraid that if he didn’t say all he had to, I’ll stop listening again.

I shook my head at him, my frustration just building up, instead of calming down.

“Why were you even in the position to allow her that?” I asked him with a piercing gaze.

“She was just trying to convince me that her story is true and to explain it all, I just-“

“You should have never even listened to that story after what I told you!” I was getting even angrier listening to his excuses.

“Come on, Naruto, I just wanted to hear if there was really another explanation,” he said, the frustration starting to lace though his voice, while he was still gripping my arm.

I sighed and pulled my arm out of his grasp. The tears behind my eyes were starting to build up again and I could feel a headache coming. I was feeling really pathetic.

Sasuke was staring at me with a lot of different emotions in his dark eyes, waiting for me to say something.

“So you actually trusted her instead of me?” I said after a while, not looking at him anymore, but rather at the ground. “Did you actually want me to see you cheating, Sasuke? Is that why you asked me to go?”

“What the fuck, Naruto!” I startled a bit, not used to him raising his voice suddenly like that. “How can you even say that? How could you think that I was cheating on you?”

Those words just snapped something in me, all of the buried feelings from three years ago surfacing in a matter of seconds.

“Seriously?” I asked in a cold stone voice, looking directly at him this time, “How could I not?”

I actually saw the hurt flashing in his eyes while he was looking at me as if he couldn’t believe I would say that, before he lowered his head.

“I thought we agreed not to bring that up ever again,” he said in a very quiet voice, in a full contrast with just seconds ago.

“We did,” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “until you actually started doing it again. But it will be the last time, Sasuke, because this is over.”

Sasuke punched the tree next to us with his fist and then he raised his head. I was petrified for a second at the look in his eyes, so full of hurt, guilt and angst at the same time. This time there was another emotion though. The desperation from before was replaced by anger now.

“This is what you have been waiting for the whole time, right, Naruto? You still cannot let yourself be fully with someone, because you’re scared of the commitment, so you’re looking for the easy way out.”

I felt my blood boiling up again and my fists clenched while I hissed, “Don’t you dare turn this around on me.”

“It is on you, this time. I didn’t cheat on you, I never did anything, but be by your side this time. I’m sorry that you still cannot trust me.”

“Have fun with Karin, Sasuke,” I said while the ache was slowly filling up my heart and I turned around heading to the dorms again. This time he didn’t stop me.

 

* * *

 

If I had to hear one more whisper behind my back or feel one more look being thrown in my way from my so-called friends, I would probably just snap and start shouting at everyone. I was seriously considering not hanging out in our common room anymore and just staying in my dorm room all the time, except for classes. The problem was that Kiba could be really annoying when he wanted to, so I doubt that he would actually let me do that.

I sighed and closed my eyes making myself more comfortable on the couch. To say that it has been awkward in our group of friends since me and Sasuke broke up two weeks ago would be an understatement. It was almost a repeat of the three years before we started dating, but it was actually even worse. Before we were just two best friends who suddenly stopped talking to each other. Now we were actually ex-boyfriends who definitely didn’t part on good terms. Everyone could see that from the way we stopped talking – we weren’t even really throwing mean comments at each other the way we did before – we just completely ignored the other one, unless absolutely necessary to talk.

No one knew what exactly had happened though and we weren’t about to tell them. The night we broke up, Kiba tried asking me what was wrong, but I just told him that I had broken up with Sasuke. I could see the shock written all over his face, but I was fast to let him know that I didn’t want to talk about it and that that was final. I was actually a little surprised when he listened to me and didn’t ask any further questions, so I guess I must have looked pretty bad.

Of course, Ino and Sakura tried asking me about it many times, but I was always good at changing the subject. I know for sure that they tried asking Sasuke as well, but no luck there either. I could see that Shikamaru, Neji and Hinata also wanted to know the details, but they were smarter than to ask about it. So when they finally more or less gave up on getting the full story, they started making theories between themselves.

Seriously, if Ino and Shika thought that I couldn’t hear them from the other couch, they were retarded.

“I’m just saying, it’s possible that one of them cheated. You never know,” Ino was whispering, but unfortunately her words were reaching not only my ears, but also my heart. It was just hitting me too close to home and I had to make some effort to will the stinging in my eyes away. That bastard was not worth crying over any more than I already had.

“I really doubt that, Ino,” Shikamaru said with a small sigh. “Naruto doesn’t seem the type and something tells me Sasuke wouldn’t make exactly that mistake.

I just couldn’t help it, I snorted with my eyes still closed. You would think not. So Shikamaru knew about last time, then.

Apparently they had heard me though and it was now too late to take it back. I heard Ino punching Shika’s arm lightly and when I opened my eyes, I saw Neji and Hinata exchanging a serious look. I shifted a little bit nervously on the couch when I saw that Neji was looking at me as if he was going to try his luck asking me about it.

Just then I was saved by the door of the common room opening, as Sakura, Kiba and Sasuke came in.

“Finally this day is over. I cannot believe that we have so much work to do over the weekend,” Kiba said while flopping on the couch and moving my legs out of the way to make space for himself. “Move over, golden boy.”

As oblivious as my roommate was, I had the feeling that the other two had noticed the tense atmosphere in the room. Sakura threw a look at Hinata as if silently asking her what was going on, but the shy girl just shook her head. I didn’t fail to notice that Sasuke narrowed his eyes, before they locked with mine for a moment.

I hated that he could still stir so many emotions in me just by looking me in the eye. I also hated the fact that his eyes always seemed so expressive, as if he was still trying to convey so many things through them, since he couldn’t do it through words anymore. I didn’t feel entirely comfortable with the way that was making me feel, so I hastily turned my gaze away from him and back to Kiba.

“So what is the plan for tomorrow? We don’t have any lab, right?” I decided to ask him. It was certainly not very often that we didn’t have to work nowadays.

“Yes! Finally some freedom! We were actually planning to go somewhere all of us together, what about the new amusement park they opened nearby?”

I blinked and threw a quick glance at Sasuke again. He was fumbling with his phone, but his brows were furrowed. Kiba seemed to finally become aware of the awkwardness in the air and looked over to Shikamaru and the others for help.

“Well, as long as everyone is okay with that plan, that is,” Shika cleared his throat.

There was some silence for a few moments until I decided that it was time to break the tension.

“It’s okay, you guys can go ahead, but I actually plan to catch on some sleep. I haven’t been sleeping very well recently, so I’ll just stay here, I think.”

I actually saw Sasuke’s frown deepen a little at that even though he didn’t lift his gaze from the phone. Sakura was looking at me with a worried gaze in her emerald eyes.

“Are you sure, Naruto?” She asked me. “It might do you good to have some fun.”

Sasuke threw a glance her way at those words, the frown still present on his face and so did Ino and Shikamaru. Sensing the never ending awkward atmosphere, Ino decided to help her best friend out.

“Yeah, I definitely agree, Blondie,” she had put on her cheerful voice, though it was obvious to everyone that it was lacking its usual sincerity. “You can sleep during the night, it’s time to live a bit during the day!”

I didn’t answer for a few seconds while pondering how to get out of having to spend the day with him. I would never admit that out loud to any of them, but if I had to be honest with myself, I didn’t think that I was strong enough for that just yet. I was not even sure when I would be again.

“Let the guy breathe,” Shikamaru surprisingly came to my defense, risking the wrath of his girlfriend. “If he doesn’t want to come, he doesn’t.”

Ino threw his a nasty look, but after exchanging another glance with Sakura, she sighed and dropped the subject. Apparently the girls wanted to make it their mission to cheer me up again, which kind of made me wonder if they were actually daring to do the same with Sasuke.

I smiled a little at Shika and closed my eyes again, pretending to resume my sleep on the couch. Recently, it was just easier. Pretending to be asleep, because otherwise I had to take part in everything going on around me. And somehow he was always part of it and I just didn’t know how long I would be able to continue with this.

If I had to be honest, I felt as if it was slowly killing me.

 

* * *

 

It was around noon the next day when I finally got out of bed and headed to the cafeteria for some coffee and breakfast. I had heard Kiba getting up really early in the morning and going with the others to the amusement park. I was really glad that I would actually have the day to myself without any of my friends around.

I was not lying to them when I said that I needed to catch up on sleep. Thinking about that cheating bastard had left me with a lot of sleepless hours. However, it was not like I actually had any chance of catching up on those today, since it’s not like I could just turn off my mind and stop thinking about him. Most of the time when I closed my eyes, I saw him and Karin kissing in that empty training room. However, sometimes I could just see his deep black eyes, filled with that gaze that he used to give me, which might have seemed cold and collected to a lot of people, but I could read all of the emotions in it like a book. Those were the harder images, since they reminded me that I still couldn’t bring myself to hate him even after everything he had put me through.

What I definitely didn’t expect though was to see him at the cafeteria, standing in front of the vending machine and choosing his drink. I panicked a little wondering if I should try and run away, but to be honest I really was hungry. He didn’t give me any chance to decide though, since exactly at that moment he lifted his gaze and his obsidian eyes locked with mine.

“Hey.”

I frowned a little bit, “Weren’t you supposed to be with the others at the amusement park?”

I could see that he was a little surprised since those were probably the most words that I have spoken to him willingly since that night.

“No, I didn’t feel like going,” he paused a bit, as if he was wondering if he should say the next part. “It doesn’t feel right without you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I snapped at him. Why was he doing this to me? “We’re nothing anymore.”

Sasuke was shaking his head even before I had finished, “You know that this is not true. We can never be nothing. We have been everything possible – best friends, enemies, lovers, but we can never be nothing.”

“So what are we now then?” I didn’t even know why I was still standing here talking to him. My head was screaming at me to just turn around and go back to my room, but my stupid heart was beating too fast to listen.

Sasuke looked me straight in the eye and my breath hitched a bit upon seeing his expression.

“You’re still the person that I’m in love with and that will always be true.”

The shock was running through my body and the anger followed quickly after, winning over all of the other emotions that this statement had awoken in me. We had never said those words to each other, not even after everything and that bastard chose now to say them for the first time?!

“The only reason I’m not punching you now is because there are too many people around. Don’t say things you don’t mean, Sasuke.”

“You know better than anyone that I never do. I love you, Naruto. I know that now, even better than before.”

I snorted, “So that is it then, isn’t it. You lose something, so you want it back. That’s not love, no. That’s just you wanting whatever you cannot have, because you have always been like that, you selfish bastard. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not going to be me.”

I could see the clear frustration forming in Sasuke’s eyes, but I didn’t care. I didn’t believe him and no matter how much my heart wanted to scream back the words at him, I decided to listen to my head this time. He didn’t deserve otherwise.

“I will say those words to you as much as you want, until you believe it, Naruto. I’m not going to give up on us again.”

“Well, it’s going to be a waste of your time. Because I’m never going to believe them.”

With that I turned around and walked out of the cafeteria, before I did something stupid. I was not going to let him fool me again. Never again.

 

* * *

 

Something was off with the bastard. I hated that I noticed it, I hated that I could still tell just by looking at him and most of all I hated that I still cared. But I did. For the others it probably wasn’t noticeable at all, since he didn’t really show it very much.

He was still doing his part of the job for our common project. He was still talking to all of our friends, well as much as he usually talked to them anyway. He was still taking part in all of his other activities like the kendo club and such.

But his contribution to the project had gotten less and less enthusiastic, he only ever did the bare minimum that he needed to and never came up with additional comments and suggestion like he used to before. Whenever talking to Neji, Shikamaru or one of the others, he was always just answering with short words and only when asked something.

I was currently watching him discuss something with Ino about one of the tests for the project from the other side of the lab while trying to not be staring too obviously.

“He seems a little bit tired recently, doesn’t he?” I jumped at Sakura’s voice. I turned around and she was looking at me with a knowing look in her emerald eyes.

“What do you mean?” There was not a point really in pretending that we didn’t both know who she was talking about.

“Mostly the enormous dark circles under his eyes.”

I looked over again at Sasuke and frowned. She had a point. However, I didn’t know what else to do but sigh.

“Naruto, I know you’re avoiding talking about it, but let me ask you straight once and for all. Did he really cheat on you?”

I turned again to face Sakura, a little surprised that she actually asked me about it. My first reaction was to scream that yes, the fucking bastard had done exactly that, yet again, but something was stopping me. His accusation that I was looking for a way out, those words that he said to me a week ago at the cafeteria. _I love you, Naruto._ They wouldn’t stop echoing in my head over and over again ever since then.

“Kinda,” I finally muttered, surprising even myself.

Sakura looked at me with confusion, “How does someone ‘kinda’ cheat on you?”

“Well... he kissed Karin, but... well, actually she was the one to kiss him... forcefully I guess.” It was the first time I was saying it out loud, but also the first time admitting to someone and probably to myself as well that he might not be at fault.

Sakura surprised me yet again with punching me in the arm and not very lightly.

“Ouch!”

“Is that what all of that stupid melodrama is about? Come on, Naruto, can’t you see you’re both suffering without the other?”

I was saved from answering by Neji who came to us at that moment.

“Did you guys finish your part of the test?”

“Yes, we did, it’s over there on the desk,” Sakura answered seeing as I was deep in thought again.

Neji threw us a curious glance, but apparently decided not to comment and he just nodded. As he started to walk off in the other direction something in me snapped though and I called out to him.

“Neji, wait!” He stopped and turned back to me. “Can I ask you something?”

“What is it, Naruto?” I looked around to make sure the others were occupied and it was only me, Neji and Sakura in the conversation

“Has Sasuke been sleeping well lately?” I could probably win an award for the lamest question ever.

Neji exchanged a quick look with Sakura, the surprise in his eyes mirroring hers perfectly, before he answered me.

“Well, um...” he cleared his throat, “Not really, actually. He keeps waking up during the night and I can hear him tossing and turning sometimes.” He paused for a bit and looked me straight in the eye with a meaningful look, “I guess something has been really bothering him.”

I bit my lip and looked back to Sakura, who was giving me her best _I told you so_ look.

“Okay, I’m going to go get those tests now.” And with that Neji walked away leaving me with Sakura again.

“Look, Naruto, you have to forgive him.”

I sighed and looked away from her and back to my station.

“It’s not that easy, Sakura.”

I bit my lip again. Maybe if some more time passed all of those feelings would finally go away little by little. They just had to.

 

* * *

 

I swear that the more I was putting my effort in something these days the less it was working. For example, the latest lab test for our group project. No matter what I don’t seem to be able to get it right and let’s just say that Sakura and Neji have not been very happy with me about it.

And then there was Sasuke. The more I was trying to avoid the bastard, the more he seemed to appear at the same places as me. And I was really, really trying my best with the avoiding thing. So currently we were all sitting at the breakfast table in the full cafeteria of the campus. I think it must have been a really long time since all eight of us were here at the same time and on the same table.

“Isn’t it so cool that we’re all together for breakfast today?” Another new development, Ino seemed to be able to read my mind. She was also getting better and better at it.

“I know! It’s been so long!” Sakura joined her in the excitement and I just rolled my eyes at them but a small smile graced my face nonetheless. Sasuke or no Sasuke, I still really enjoyed being with all of my friends together like this and I considered it pretty lucky that we managed to stay such a close group all the way through college.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all very nice, as long as you girls don’t start talking about freaking Valentine’s day. Again,” commented Kiba with a pointed look in the girls’ direction.

I couldn’t help, but sneak a glance at Sasuke, which I quickly had to avert since it was met with his obsidian eyes staring right at me. Obsessive bastard.

“Well, Kiba, just because you don’t have anyone to share the happiness with, doesn’t mean that the day is stupid.” Ino was grinning widely at the glaring Kiba, pretending not to notice Sakura scowling at her, since she technically didn’t have anyone to share the happiness with either.

Shikamaru on the other hand just shook his head at his girlfriend, although I was ready to bet my breakfast that he was actually very happy on the inside.

“Girls are so troublesome, seriously.” I cringed at that, but fortunately he was saved from Ino’s wrath when one girl from the year below us approached the table. I recognized her to be one of Sasuke’s kouhais from the kendo club.

“Um...Uchiha-senpai, I’m really sorry to bother you during breakfast...” she started shyly and managed to get the attention of all of our friends who also looked at her curiously. “It’s actually about Valentine’s day.”

I heard Kiba’s loud sigh next to me and his not so quiet muttering of ‘There we go again.’

Sasuke just raised his eyebrow at her as if to question what that would have to do with him. I mentally snorted. _Could be a message from his new girlfriend Karin_ , the irrationally jealous part of my brain supplied.

“Well,” the girl paused for a bit, as if not sure if it’s okay to ask her question, “there is an event for all the members of the kendo club and you’re supposed to bring your partner if you want...”

Sasuke sighed at that, “Don’t count me in...” he mumbled.

This time I couldn’t help, but snore out loud and I noticed him throwing me a sharp look, presumably followed by everyone else staring in my direction as well. Oops, I guess I need to say something to justify myself now.

“I’m sorry, it was just a very funny situation to imagine. You see, Sasuke here is not really capable of loving someone, so Valentine’s day doesn’t really suit him well, I would say.”

Even I knew that it was a little bit too harsh, but I couldn’t help the bitter words coming out of my mouth. I could see Sakura shaking her head in disappointment from the corner of my eye. Sasuke on the other hand hadn’t reacted at all and was just looking at me without moving an inch.

Before he could react though, the girl laughed nervously, “Haha, well, yeah, actually we assumed as well that he was not exactly the type to celebrate that holiday, but... I just had to ask everyone, I’m sorry for interrupting.”

She was about to turn away and get out of the awkward situation as fast as possible, when Sasuke suddenly spoke.

“Wait,” he said that towards her, but his deep eyes were locked with mine the entire time and his next words were definitely directed at me.

“Do you want me to embarrass you in front of all of them then, to make you understand?” he smiled and suddenly I was petrified, “Because I will.”

I was suddenly unable to move and it was as if someone else was speaking the next words, just using my mouth. “You wouldn’t dare...” I whispered.

He smirked with such a confidence that I felt the chills running through my entire body.

“You see,” he turned back towards the girl, but his voice was suddenly ringing all throughout the cafeteria even though he was not really shouting. I don’t know how he could always draw everyone in like that. “I cannot really participate at the moment, because the person I love doesn’t want to be my partner.”

My body started to shake a little bit and if I was able even for a moment to take my eyes off of him I would maybe see Shikamaru’s and Neji’s looks of surprise or heard the gasps from the girls. But I didn’t.

“He doesn’t understand that I love him, but since I will never be able to love anyone else but him, I cannot really find another partner for the party,” Sasuke continued in that calm voice of his that was stirring so many emotions in me. I wanted to do something, to stop this madness, but I just kept watching petrified.

He stood up and everyone that was already shocked by his speech just kept looking at him mesmerized, waiting for his next words.

“For anyone here who gives a damn, I, Uchiha Sasuke, am completely and only in love with Uzumaki Naruto.”

All of a sudden, there was a lump in my throat and a big ball of so many conflicted emotions in my chest that just wanted to burst through it and it was all just _too fucking much_. I needed to leave. I needed to be somewhere where those eyes wouldn’t be ripping my soul open.

I stood up with a loud creak of my chair and turned to the exit of the cafeteria as fast as my legs could carry me at the moment. Before I was able to get there though, a strong hand gripped my arm and spun me around forcefully.

“No, Naruto, I’m not letting you run away anymore.”

“Stop it, Sasuke,” I wish my voice was as steady as his and not sounding as if I was about to choke, “Stop it with the circus already, you just don’t understand.”

“I do,” he was still gripping my arm tightly even though I was looking everywhere, but at him, “I’m the only one who understands every single thing about you, Naruto. I know how you always smile so bright, because you feel that it is your duty to make everyone around you happy, since there was no one to make you happy at one point. I know that your favorite color is actually blue, but you pretend that it is orange, because everyone already thinks it and you don’t want to contradict them. I know that you drink your coffee with two spoons of sugar and one cup of milk. I know that you love sleeping in, but you wake up early every morning to study extra, because it has always been your dream to be a doctor and help people. I know you actually want to be in pediatrics, but you stay here, because you want us to be a whole group without anyone missing. I know that Shikamaru is the first guy who was not mean to you in elementary school, which is why you’re so grateful to him. I know that you pretended to like Sakura because it was expected of you to like girls, before you actually admitted that you’re gay. I know that you still keep the first watch I ever gave you as a present, even though it’s already completely broken, because it’s the first thing that someone gave you. I know that you want us all to grow old together and go work at the same hospital and live in a big house somewhere in Okinawa when we retire.”

I didn’t even realize when I had lifted my eyes to look at him, but he was getting closer and closer and my entire body was still trembling. Everyone’s eyes were on us and no one dared to say a word, not even Kiba or Ino, which was definitely saying something.

“I know all of those things and everything else there is to know about you, Uzumaki Naruto. The only thing I don’t know...” he stopped right in front of me and placed his palm on my cheek. “The only thing I don’t know is why you won’t let yourself be with me.”

“I...” I cleared my throat, “I just don’t want to be alone again. Sasuke, I’m not going to be able to lose you again.”

He smiled a little, something that was so rare for him that I’m always captivated by it no matter what.

“But you won’t have to. I love you, Naruto. I’m not going anywhere. Get it through your thick skull already, because everyone is tired of our drama.”

I let out a choked laugh at that and shook my head a little. We were already standing so close to each other, but I made one little step closer.

“I love you, too, Sasuke. Always have, always will.”

He didn’t waste a second more and he just yanked me by the wrist which he was still holding and crashed my lips to his. I responded eagerly and the hole that has been in my chest for the past few weeks finally started filling itself. I was so content that I was almost able to ignore the shouts and cheers behind Sasuke’s back. Almost.

“I’m never letting you let go of us again,” he said in his stern Sasuke voice when we parted to take some breath.

“Please don’t,” I laughed a little and put my hand on the back of his neck to pull him back to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I still hated Uchiha Sasuke for being so fucking perfect. It’s just that I knew now that this didn’t really stop me from loving him either.   

 


End file.
